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ReviewsAdvance Praise for The All-or-Nothing Marriage "If you've ever wondered what science has to say about how marriage has changed over time and what makes for a great one, this is the book to read. Eli Finkel is one of the world's leading experts on relationships, and his insights are both comprehensive and revealing." --Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Give and Take, Originals, and Option B (coauthored with Sheryl Sandberg) "Eli Finkel has written an incredible analysis of the state of marriage, and a useful guide for everyone trying to make their relationship work better. He also promised us cheeseburgers if we wrote this blurb. Please get those to us ASAP, Eli." --Aziz Ansari and Eric Klinenberg, co-authors of the #1 New York Times bestseller Modern Romance "This book makes a lot of sense, and it is written by an eminent scholar. It should be an essential part of every therapist's bookshelf." --John M. Gottman, author of million-copy-seller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work "Fascinating! Eli Finkel offers us an educated, enlightening perspective on our most important adult relationship; better still, his perspective on marriage is one of hope and inspiration." --Dr. Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight and Love Sense "An engaging, perceptive exploration of a modern paradox. We need marriage less than ever for practical survival and social success, but we demand more satisfaction and meaning from it than ever. The higher we climb in our emotional expectations, Finkel argues, the more oxygen we need to pump into our relationships." --Stephanie Coontz, author, Marriage a History: How Love Conquered Marriage "Marriages are like rapids-filled rivers, sweeping us along toward desired destinations, both emotional and practical, while imperiling the journey with unseen rocks of ruin. With an account that is impressive in scholarship and erudition, Eli Finkel has provided a much needed chart for understanding and navigating the waters." --Robert B. Cialdini, New York Times bestselling author of Influence and Pre-Suasion "Eli Finkel's All-or-Nothing Marriage is an excellent, accessible guide to today's high-investment, high-reward marriages." --Andrew Cherlin, Prof. of Sociology, Director, Program on Social Policy, Johns Hopkins University "No one knows more about the science of relationships than Eli Finkel. This book is bound to spark a conversation. A must-read for anyone interested in building or maintaining a strong marriage." --Jonah Berger, Wharton professor and bestselling author of Contagious and Invisible Influence "What do we actually know about good (and bad) marriages? That simple question is surprisingly difficult to answer, but Eli J. Finkel's The All-or-Nothing Marriage is the best place I know to start." --Tyler Cowen, economics professor at George Mason University and author of Average is Over "While pundits debate the ever-evolving institution of marriage, Eli Finkel offers a fresh, nonpartisan analyses of changing trends, and even practical advice for the long-coupled. Anyone in a committed romantic relationship -- whether or not they're legally wed -- will benefit from the generosity and care he brings to the topic." --Kate Bolick, author of Spinster: Making a Life of One's Own, Advance Praise for The All-or-Nothing Marriage "Fascinating! Eli Finkel offers us an educated, enlightening perspective on our most important adult relationship; better still, his perspective on marriage is one of hope and inspiration." --Dr. Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight and Love Sense "An engaging, perceptive exploration of a modern paradox. We need marriage less than ever for practical survival and social success, but we demand more satisfaction and meaning from it than ever. The higher we climb in our emotional expectations, Finkel argues, the more oxygen we need to pump into our relationships." --Stephanie Coontz, author, Marriage a History: How Love Conquered Marriage "Marriages are like rapids-filled rivers, sweeping us along toward desired destinations, both emotional and practical, while imperiling the journey with unseen rocks of ruin. With an account that is impressive in scholarship and erudition, Eli Finkel has provided a much needed chart for understanding and navigating the waters." --Robert B. Cialdini, New York Times bestselling author of Influence and Pre-Suasion "Eli Finkel's All-or-Nothing Marriage is an excellent, accessible guide to today's high-investment, high-reward marriages." --Andrew Cherlin, Prof. of Sociology, Director, Program on Social Policy, Johns Hopkins University "No one knows more about the science of relationships than Eli Finkel. This book is bound to spark a conversation. A must-read for anyone interested in building or maintaining a strong marriage." --Jonah Berger, Wharton professor and bestselling author of Contagious and Invisible Influence, Advance Praise for The All-or-Nothing Marriage "If you've ever wondered what science has to say about how marriage has changed over time and what makes for a great one, this is the book to read. Eli Finkel is one of the world's leading experts on relationships, and his insights are both comprehensive and revealing." --Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Give and Take, Originals, and Option B (coauthored with Sheryl Sandberg) "Eli Finkel has written an incredible analysis of the state of marriage, and a useful guide for everyone trying to make their relationship work better. He also promised us cheeseburgers if we wrote this blurb. Please get those to us ASAP, Eli." --Aziz Ansari and Eric Klinenberg, co-authors of the #1 New York Times bestseller Modern Romance "This book makes a lot of sense, and it is written by an eminent scholar. It should be an essential part of every therapist's bookshelf." --John M. Gottman, author of million-copy-seller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work "Fascinating! Eli Finkel offers us an educated, enlightening perspective on our most important adult relationship; better still, his perspective on marriage is one of hope and inspiration." --Dr. Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight and Love Sense "An engaging, perceptive exploration of a modern paradox. We need marriage less than ever for practical survival and social success, but we demand more satisfaction and meaning from it than ever. The higher we climb in our emotional expectations, Finkel argues, the more oxygen we need to pump into our relationships." --Stephanie Coontz, author, Marriage a History: How Love Conquered Marriage "Marriages are like rapids-filled rivers, sweeping us along toward desired destinations, both emotional and practical, while imperiling the journey with unseen rocks of ruin. With an account that is impressive in scholarship and erudition, Eli Finkel has provided a much needed chart for understanding and navigating the waters." --Robert B. Cialdini, New York Times bestselling author of Influence and Pre-Suasion "Eli Finkel's All-or-Nothing Marriage is an excellent, accessible guide to today's high-investment, high-reward marriages." --Andrew Cherlin, Prof. of Sociology, Director, Program on Social Policy, Johns Hopkins University "No one knows more about the science of relationships than Eli Finkel. This book is bound to spark a conversation. A must-read for anyone interested in building or maintaining a strong marriage." --Jonah Berger, Wharton professor and bestselling author of Contagious and Invisible Influence "What do we actually know about good (and bad) marriages? That simple question is surprisingly difficult to answer, but Eli J. Finkel's The All-or-Nothing Marriage is the best place I know to start." --Tyler Cowen, economics professor at George Mason University and author of Average is Over
Synopsis"After years of debate and inquiry, the key to a great marriage remained shrouded in mystery. Until now..."--Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success Eli J. Finkel's insightful and ground-breaking investigation of marriage clearly shows that the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. He presents his findings here for the first time in this lucid, inspiring guide to modern marital bliss. The All-or-Nothing Marriage reverse engineers fulfilling marriages--from the "traditional" to the utterly nontraditional--and shows how any marriage can be better. The primary function of marriage from 1620 to 1850 was food, shelter, and protection from violence; from 1850 to 1965, the purpose revolved around love and companionship. But today, a new kind of marriage has emerged, one oriented toward self-discover, self-esteem, and personal growth. Finkel combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice; he considers paths to better communication and responsiveness; he offers guidance on when to recalibrate our expectations; and he even introduces a set of must-try "lovehacks." This is a book for the newlywed to the empty nester, for those thinking about getting married or remarried, and for anyone looking for illuminating advice that will make a real difference to getting the most out of marriage today., "After years of debate and inquiry, the key to a great marriage remained shrouded in mystery. Until now..."-Carol Dweck,author ofMindset- The New Psychology of Success Eli J. Finkel's insightful and ground-breaking investigation of marriage clearly shows that the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. He presents his findings here for the first time in this lucid, inspiring guide to modern marital bliss. The All-or-Nothing Marriage reverse engineers fulfilling marriages-from the "traditional" to the utterly nontraditional-and shows how any marriage can be better. The primary function of marriage from 1620 to 1850 was food, shelter, and protection from violence; from 1850 to 1965, the purpose revolved around love and companionship. But today, a new kind of marraige has emerged, one oriented toward self-discover, self-esteem, and personal growth. Finkel combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice; he considers paths to better communication and responsiveness; he offers guidance on when to recalibrate our expectations; and he even introduces a set of must-try "lovehacks." This is a book for the newlywed to the empty nester, for those thinking about getting married or remarried, and for anyone looking for illuminating advice that will make a real difference to getting the most out of marriage today.
LC Classification NumberHQ734.F466 2017