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Product Identifiers
PublisherFree Press
ISBN-10074323281X
ISBN-139780743232814
eBay Product ID (ePID)23038525210
Product Key Features
Book TitleWhen Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us : Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives
Number of Pages224 Pages
LanguageEnglish
Publication Year2004
TopicParenting / Parent & Adult Child, Life Stages / Mid-Life, Emotions
FeaturesReprint
GenreFamily & Relationships, Self-Help
AuthorJane Adams
FormatTrade Paperback
Dimensions
Item Height0.6 in
Item Weight7.3 Oz
Item Length8.4 in
Item Width5.5 in
Additional Product Features
Intended AudienceTrade
LCCN2003-044830
Dewey Edition21
Dewey Decimal306.874
Edition DescriptionReprint
Table Of ContentContents Introduction May I Talk to You Privately? * Whose Story Is This? * When Bad Things Happen to Good Parents * Our Dirty Little Secret * The Elephant in the Parlor Chapter One The Kids Are All Right and Other Lies Parents Tell About Their Grown Children The Most Privileged Generation in History -- Except Theirs * Great Expectations: Ours or Theirs * Who's in Trouble Here? * Making Them Happy Is Not Up to Us * But Can We Be Happy If They're Not? Chapter Two We're Waiting...and Waiting...and Waiting When We Were Their Age * Prolonging the Search for Identity -- Or Just Avoiding It? * Excuse Us, But We're Having an Identity Crisis, Too * Our Other Unfinished Task * Two Kinds of Parents, Same Kind of Kids * In Whose Good Time? * Addicted, Depressed, and Dependent: A Detour or a Final Destination? Chapter Three Whose Fault Is It, Anyway? The Two Myths of Parenthood * "I'll Never Make the Mistakes My Parents Made" * Wrestling Guilt to the Ground * The Echo of Our Childhoods * Regret Is Guilt Without the Neurosis * Why Wasn't I Listening? * When the Writing's on the Wall * Good Enough Is the Best We Can Do Chapter Four They're Ba-a-a-ck! The Never-Empty Nest * Out of Time and Out of Patience * Sparing the Help vs. Spoiling the Child * Lives Without Guideposts * Leaving No Forwarding Address Chapter Five The Challenge of Independence Strangled by Our Purse Strings * "Why Should They Wait Till We're Dead?" * Codependent on Dr. Spock * Parents Who Give Too Much Chapter Six Maybe We Shouldn't Have Inhaled The Perils of Nostalgia * It's Not the Age of Aquarius Any Longer * Is It a Symptom or a Disease? * Family Day at Rehab * Staying Out of Their Program * Doing the Wrong Thing Chapter Seven The Limits of Love Paying a Different Kind of Attention * Denying the Undeniable * The Real Truth About Gay Pride * Following the Pied Piper * An Alternative to What? * Who Are the Victims Here? * Forgiving the Unforgivable Chapter Eight Separating from Their Problems Without Separating from Them The Key to Our Survival * Thank You for Sharing * Marriages Under Fire * Blurred Boundaries, Loving Limits * But What About the Grandchildren? * Phantom Guilt and Other Crimes of the Heart Chapter Nine Reinventing Our Lives: The Challenge of Postparenthood Reinvigorating the Postparenthood Marriage * New Wine in Old Bottles * Different Times, Different Agendas * Shuffling the Deck for a New Deal Notes Bibliography Index
SynopsisHow do today's parents cope when the dreams we had for our children clash with reality? What can we do for our twenty- and even thirty-somethings who can't seem to grow up? How can we help our depressed, dependent, or addicted adult children, the ones who can't get their lives started, who are just marking time or even doing it? What's the right strategy when our smart, capable "adultolescents" won't leave home or come boomeranging back? Who can we turn to when the kids aren't all right and we, their parents, are frightened, frustrated, resentful, embarrassed, and especially, disappointed?In this groundbreaking book, a social psychologist who's been chronicling the lives of American families for over two decades confronts our deepest concerns, including our silence and self-imposed sense of isolation, when our grown kids have failed to thrive. She listens to a generation that "did everything right" and expected its children to grow into happy, healthy, successful adults. But they haven't, at least, not yet -- and meanwhile, we're letting their problems threaten our health, marriages, security, freedom, careers or retirement, and other family relationships.With warmth, empathy, and perspective, Dr. Adams offers a positive, life-affirming message to parents who are still trying to "fix" their adult children -- Stop! She shows us how to separate from their problems without separating from them, and how to be a positive force in their lives while getting on with our own. As we navigate this critical passage in our second adulthood and their first, the bestselling author ofI'm Still Your Motherreminds us that the pleasures and possibilities of postparenthood should not depend on how our kids turn out, but on how we do!, How do today's parents cope when the dreams we had for our children clash with reality? What can we do for our twenty- and even thirty-somethings who can't seem to grow up? How can we help our depressed, dependent, or addicted adult children, the ones who can't get their lives started, who are just marking time or even doing it? What's the right strategy when our smart, capable "adultolescents" won't leave home or come boomeranging back? Who can we turn to when the kids aren't all right and we, their parents, are frightened, frustrated, resentful, embarrassed, and especially, disappointed? In this groundbreaking book, a social psychologist who's been chronicling the lives of American families for over two decades confronts our deepest concerns, including our silence and self-imposed sense of isolation, when our grown kids have failed to thrive. She listens to a generation that "did everything right" and expected its children to grow into happy, healthy, successful adults. But they haven't, at least, not yet--and meanwhile, we're letting their problems threaten our health, marriages, security, freedom, careers or retirement, and other family relationships. With warmth, empathy, and perspective, Dr. Adams offers a positive, life-affirming message to parents who are still trying to "fix" their adult children--Stop She shows us how to separate from their problems without separating from them, and how to be a positive force in their lives while getting on with our own. As we navigate this critical passage in our second adulthood and their first, the bestselling author of I'm Still Your Mother reminds us that the pleasures and possibilities of postparenthood should not depend on how our kids turn out, but on how we do, How do parents cope when their adult children struggle to launch, battle depression or addiction, or return home unable to face independence? With empathy and insight, When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us confronts the painful gap between parental hopes and the reality of "adultolescents" who are stuck, struggling, or spiraling. In this groundbreaking book, a social psychologist who's been chronicling the lives of American families for over two decades confronts our deepest concerns, including our silence and self-imposed sense of isolation, when our grown kids have failed to thrive. She listens to a generation that "did everything right" and expected its children to grow into happy, healthy, successful adults. But they haven't, at least, not yet--and meanwhile, we're letting their problems threaten our health, marriages, security, freedom, careers or retirement, and other family relationships. With warmth, empathy, and perspective, Dr. Adams offers a positive, life-affirming message to parents who are still trying to "fix" their adult children--Stop! She shows us how to separate from their problems without separating from them, and how to be a positive force in their lives while getting on with our own. As we navigate this critical passage in our second adulthood and their first, the bestselling author of I'm Still Your Mother reminds us that the pleasures and possibilities of postparenthood should not depend on how our kids turn out, but on how we do!, How do today's parents cope when the dreams we had for our children clash with reality? What can we do for our twenty- and even thirty-somethings who can't seem to grow up? How can we help our depressed, dependent, or addicted adult children, the ones who can't get their lives started, who are just marking time or even doing it? What's the right strategy when our smart, capable "adultolescents" won't leave home or come boomeranging back? Who can we turn to when the kids aren't all right and we, their parents, are frightened, frustrated, resentful, embarrassed, and especially, disappointed? In this groundbreaking book, a social psychologist who's been chronicling the lives of American families for over two decades confronts our deepest concerns, including our silence and self-imposed sense of isolation, when our grown kids have failed to thrive. She listens to a generation that "did everything right" and expected its children to grow into happy, healthy, successful adults. But they haven't, at least, not yet--and meanwhile, we're letting their problems threaten our health, marriages, security, freedom, careers or retirement, and other family relationships. With warmth, empathy, and perspective, Dr. Adams offers a positive, life-affirming message to parents who are still trying to "fix" their adult children--Stop! She shows us how to separate from their problems without separating from them, and how to be a positive force in their lives while getting on with our own. As we navigate this critical passage in our second adulthood and their first, the bestselling author of I'm Still Your Mother reminds us that the pleasures and possibilities of postparenthood should not depend on how our kids turn out, but on how we do!
LC Classification NumberHQ755.86. A33 2003
Bewertungen und Rezensionen
Relevanteste Rezensionen
- 30. Mai. 2024
The books were in great shape without an...
The books were in great shape without any tears or writing in them. It's an important book that I give to moms that struggle with their gown kids.. Thank you!Bestätigter Kauf: JaArtikelzustand: Gebraucht
- 24. Feb. 2021
When our grown kids disappoint you
Book was recommended to me and I love it!!Bestätigter Kauf: JaArtikelzustand: Gebraucht
