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Über dieses Produkt
- KurzbeschreibungA hilarious examination of faux pas for readers of Allie Brosh's Hyperbole and a Half and Jenny Lawson's Let's Pretend This Never Happened <br />Humankind is doomed. Especially you.<br />It's already too late. From overstaying your welcome at a party, to leaving passive-aggressive post-its on your roommate's belongings, to letting your date know the extent of the internet reconnaissance you did on them-you're destined to embarrass yourself again and again. In You Blew It!, Josh Gondelman, comedian and co-creator of the "Modern Seinfeld" twitter account, teams up with Joe Berkowitz, an equally wry and ruthless social-observer, to dissect a range of painfully hilarious faux pas . Breaking down the code violations of modern culture-particularly our fervent, ridiculous addiction to technology-Gondelman and Berkowitz will keep you laughing as they explore how social blunders are simply part of the mystery that is you.
- AutorJoe Berkowitz,Josh Gondelman
- VerlagPenguin Putnam Inc
- Seiten224 Seiten
- Gewicht172 g
- LeseprobeThis excerpt is from an advance uncorrected proof<br />Copyright © 2015 Josh Gondelman & Joe Berkowitz<br />CHAPTER 1<br />Friends Like These<br />Every year after your twenty-second birthday, it becomes more difficult to make new friends. Nobody told you this as a child because you would've cried about it until given ice cream or a pony. As children, two people can form an intense bond over simply not being the kid who threw up on the monkey bars that time. Once we're old enough to file our own taxes, though, we've become conditioned to assume everyone we meet has enough friends already. As hard as it is to make new friends in adulthood, though, it's easier than ever to lose them.<br />Friendship dynamics evolve over time. In high school, half your friends hated each other and only stuck together because, well, what else were they gonna do-hang out at a cooler high school, where the principal spends most of his time with a small group of students at a nearby fifties-themed diner? Adults don't have to do that. Our busy lives both explain and excuse losing touch. All it takes now is one perceived slight, and we never text that buddy from our urban kickball league ever again.<br />Of course, this disposability isn't true of old friends. Anyone whose wedding you were in won't kick you to the curb because you declined to "like" one of their Facebook status updates. (Although he or she probably will move to Scarsdale and breed, thus de-friending you by natural causes.) It's the new people in your life you actually worry about. A blossoming adult friendship is a delicate soufflé under constant threat of collapsing under its own weight and turning into egg chum. But unlike the soufflé we destroyed back in home ec class, friends don't give you credit just for showing up.<br />Making Plans and Breaking Plans<br />Even if much of friendship can now be literally phoned in, most of us still like to actually meet up from time to time and gaze at our phones together in person. Every year, though, it seems there are fewer hours in each day and more reasons not to leave the house. Spending time in the same room as your friends used to be an essential part of forging a community, and still is, but now you can get that feeling of togetherness from protesting a sitcom cancellation while doing five other things and not wearing pants. If people meet up less than they once did, it's also because making plans has started to feel like a cold-war showdown of who will cancel first.<br />It's pretty much expected that before any two people meet up they will first cancel back and forth five or six times, like two awful ships in the night piloted by people who have never driven ships before. One part of the problem is scheduling. If you pick a date too soon, your friend probably can't make it; pick one too far out, and you come across like your own executive assistant trying to pencil someone in for a "deskside." Choosing a time frame is crucial, though, because everybody knows that "Let's meet up sometime" is code for "See you never."<br />Getting together and doing stuff always sounds like something Future You would do. Future You is down for whatever. On the day of, though, Current You is more "down comforter," and doesn't want to go anywhere-which is often the optimal outcome. But bailing on friends too often puts you on that slippery slope toward becoming the Boy Who Cried RSVP. That's why there's a protocol for cancellation.<br />On the day you're supposed to meet with a friend, it's fairly standard to check in and confirm that neither of you has died nor had a conflicting appendectomy come up. Some people even offer an out during this check-in, a chance to reschedule if need be. Any mention of a rain check, though, is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Unless you're seriously pumped about after-work drinks, it seems alm
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