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- KurzbeschreibungWhen it comes to growing a robust mustache, masticating red meat, building a chair, or wooing a woman, who better to educate you than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation 's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in carpentry, Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood (born, literally, in the middle of an Illinois cornfield) to his theater days in Chicago to the, frankly, magnificent seduction of his wife, Megan Mullally. Offerman also shares his hard-bitten battle strategies in the arenas of manliness, love, styles, and religion, and invaluable advice on getting the utmost pleasure out of woodworking, assorted meats, outdoor recreations, and other palatable entrees.
- AutorNick Offerman
- VerlagPenguin LCC US
- Seiten352 Seiten
- Gewicht277 g
- Leseprobe1<br>Not- So- Little House on the Prairie<br>Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Where do I begin chapter 1? I suppose we'll do a chronological thing and start you off with some of the early years, a taste of the vintage stuff.<br>I showed up on Earth, in the tri- county area of Illinois, to be more precise, in 1970. This was, reportedly, the year Tom Waits showed up in LA to start pushing his demos around town. I haven't had the chance to ask Tom if he was trying to send me a personal message of serendipity with his beautiful and haunting songs of the day like "Grapefruit Moon" and "Midnight Lullaby," but it seems too crazy- on- the- nose to just be coincidence. Right?<br>Somewhere in the Arizona desert, Tom Laughlin was shooting the movie Billy Jack , and warlock- style wax albums were dropping all about the realm with names like Look- Ka Py Py ; Black Sabbath ; Sex Machine ; Moondance ; Bitches Brew ; The Man Who Sold the World ; After the Gold Rush ; Free Your Mind . . . and Your Ass Will Follow ; Kristofferson , for cryin' out loud; Let It Be ; and the most weirdly kabbalistic- Randy Newman's 12 Songs . Potent magicks coalesced and fluctuated across the void, whilst strange nether- clouds swelled with great portent above the green crop fields, awaiting . . . what? Some child? A chosen man- cub?<br>Despite some loose popular misconceptions, I did NOT in fact drop from my mother's womb wielding a full moustache and a two- headed battle- axe. Nor was there sighted evidence of even the first follicle of the first hair of my chest bracken. Those laurels would come later.<br>The luckiest part of my very lucky life (pre- Megan) has been being raised by my family in the environment they created for the rearing of my siblings and me. My mom, Catherine Ann Offerman (née Rob erts), and my dad, Frederic Dames Offerman, grew up about three miles from each other in the middle of the countryside, outside of Minooka, Illinois. Where is that? Right next to Channahon, as I like to joke. (I told you this shit was gwine to be humorous.) Southwest of Joliet. My mom grew up in a family of four kids, born to Mike and Eloise Roberts, and they raised pigs, soybeans, and corn. My dad, born to Raymond Offerman and Marilyn Dames Offerman, grew up on a dairy farm with two siblings before moving into town as a teen ager. They attended all the same Minooka schools that I eventually did, and married young. Dad was twenty- four and Mom was nine teen. Which seems batshit crazy to me these days.<br>Minooka is, surprisingly, only about an hour from Lake Shore Drive in Chicago, if there's no traffic. But it seems like it's fifty years distant, or at least it did in my youth
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